Will I Feel Like a Bride? Colored Dress Edition

Ashlie chose to wear a beautiful red dress that looked absolutely stunning with her complexion and dark hair.

Among the bridal traditions that it’s ok to ignore is perhaps one of the most modern-day ingrained of all: the white dress.

Do you worry that you won’t look or feel like a bride if you wear a dress that isn’t white, but secretly in your heart of hearts want to wear a dress that reflects YOU and your personal style? Here are some pointers to help you make the decision on whether or not to go sans white dress on your wedding day.

1. Understand where the tradition came from and decide if it has any meaning to you.

Most people think that Queen Victoria started the white wedding trend, and while she most certainly had a key role in solidifying the trend, wearing white went back in history farther than her beautiful hand-made lace dress. White was worn as a status symbol by the wealthy. Both jewelry and fabrics were used to display wealth, and white was a coveted, expensive and rare textile color before modern bleaching techniques. Powerful and wealthy people flaunted their power and wealth through rich metallic and white clothing, and having a huge, white dress made specifically to be worn for only one day.

2. Some people just don’t look good in white.

It’s true! Some people just do not have the complexion to pull off a white dress. Some people look gorgeous in teal, some look ravishing in coral, some look elegant in plum, some look beautiful in emerald, and some look washed out or jaundiced in white (I am one of those people). Why would you want to go through one of the best days of your life knowing that you look less than your best, because of a tradition that has little to no meaning to you?

3.  White doesn’t suit your style.

Are you having a carnival or under-the-sea themed wedding soiree? Maybe a multi-colored dress or a seafoam confection would better suit the party that you’ve painstakingly planned out. Are you a rockabilly or goth bride? Maybe a red or black dress would better suit your personality. Do you simply love color and share a home with your partner full of bold color? Maybe a white dress would feel devoid of any emotional connection to you. It’s ok to choose a dress that (figuratively) has your name written all over it.

Marissa's black lace-accented dress was stunning, and Claire's navy blue dress was gorgeous in the snow and brought out her dark blue eyes.

4.  You can wear something close to white, but not quite.

If you think it will really bother you to not be in white, but you don’t want to wear it (for whatever reason), you have options that are similar to white but not quite. Many wedding dresses are made in a variety of colors nowadays to suit different skin tones and personal tastes. Find out if your dress of choice comes in champagne, blush or even platinum. Or choose a partly white dress with colored elements, like colored tulle or lace, or a colored skirt with a white bodice.

Terah looked gorgeous in platinum with her flawless, dark skin, and it looked perfect with her pink and purple wedding colors.

Shannon looked beautiful in her champagne dress (and her two little men looked so handsome, too!)

5. You can invest in a dress that you can wear again and again.

Wedding dresses don’t have to be a wear-once garment. You can choose a dress that you look and feel amazing in, don’t have to pay to get preserved, stash in storage, or sell to pay off the debt it put you in. Any dress can be a “wedding” dress – you just have to wear it in your wedding ceremony.

The truth is, we don’t have to get sold on any wedding tradition that doesn’t suit us. You will look like a bride in any color, because everyone will expect to see you as a bride. You can choose a dress that you love, that looks fabulous on you and suits your style and unique wedding. If wearing white doesn’t really feel like “you”, try a colored dress!

The Little Notebook of Memories

Today is not really a particularly important or special day. It is a day much like every other normal day, me striking a balance of pushing towards goals and finding peace; finding the balance between silence and music.

I'm staring at the calendar on my taskbar at the bottom of my screen and thinking, "January 28th... January 28th... another month is almost gone, and wasn't it just the new year? Wasn't it just my birthday?"

Time is slipping, it seems, the older I get. "Old" people have been telling me that it would my entire life, and I simply didn't believe them.

Yesterday, I looked through my Senior book from high school. I remembered writing in it that I couldn't really imagine myself in my 30s. I found it...yes... the inscription in my fluid, swirly handwriting, that stated defiantly that I could not imagine myself as 'old'. And here I am, chronologically 34, but I still feel 17 on the inside. I've had double that many birthdays, and yet I still gush over pretty dresses, still stare with mouth agape in excitement and wonder at hot air balloons, still get breathless when I walk out my door at night to go somewhere and then BAM - the night sky hits me, silver stars sparkling in the inky depths.

For Christmas, my parents gave me this little notebook.

Inside the cover, they glued a rectangle of paper with these directions:

"This is a Memory Account Journal. Take this $50 and open a new savings account you will call your 'Memory Account'. When a new memory is created that you feel is notable, something you want to remember, write a note about it in this Memory Journal. Next make a deposit in your memory account. You should set a goal of how long and what you are saving for with your Memory Account. Whatever it is, remember to record and savor the memories. At the end of your set time, you are to take a few minutes and read the 'Memory Journal' before withdrawing the money. Then take the money and use it towards that something special you always wanted or that special place you have always wanted to go."

Inside of the little book was a $50 check to get my memory account started.

I deposited the $50 into my existing savings account (which I do not use) and decided that I would do this thing that they challenged me to do, trying to not write in memories that I already have that are priceless to me, because I could not quantify those into a monetary value. And if I somehow could quantify those, my most treasured memories (how do you turn something like birthing a child into a monetary value of worth?), I wouldn't have enough money to cover the deposit anyway.

So. I decided to work backwards, just a little bit, from Thanksgiving weekend 2013. Something magical happened that weekend that I wanted to add to the memory book, because I am a date-keeper, one of those people who loves dates and remembering important ones.

I imagine that when people do things like this, they record major events in their life. But I caught myself yesterday writing in the amazing sunset from Sunday, thinking, "it was a million dollar sunset. How am I supposed to make a deposit for this?!?!"

I put $27.50 into my savings account, with a little promise to add to it later, for the sunset.

The Million Dollar Sunset, taken Sunday January 26, with my iPhone. It was so much better in person.

Reading back over the entries since Thanksgiving, it is interesting to see what memories I track and what I have written about them. Reading them again feels strange, like standing outside my own body and experiencing it as an outsider; like going over to your grandmother's house, exploring the attic, and finding her old journal. There's an element of the familiar, but still a strange, spectator-like wonderment about it. I've recorded small moments, mainly. Things you might not, and even I might not, usually expect to find in a notebook called a "Memory Journal". Sunsets, unusually warm January days, one particularly productive day that I was proud of, small special moments with my people, sweet things my babies have said, and especially starry nights that took my breath away.

Reading through them, I am wondering over this 'deposit' business. Each memory got a relatively small deposit into my savings account, but each memory feels as glorious and priceless as the next, and attaching the monetary value seems to cheapen them - however, I am saving, and I'm still rolling around in my head what is to be the Big Goal That I Am Saving For. I haven't decided. Most likely it will be a trip; most likely, it will be Scotland.

In any case, I feel very lucky that my parents laid this challenge on me. It made me realize the importance of saving for something big, and noticing the important little things along the way that get you there. Like planting the lavish garden, but stopping to admire each rose as it blossoms.

What a wonderful way to spend (and save) a lifetime.

Meghan and Cory - Married!

It was a hot, beautiful sunny day in early September when I made the short hop from my home in Fenton to Eureka, to the hotel where I held my very first job. There I ascended the grand staircase in the lobby, walked the corridor that I used to vacuum everyday, passing the paintings of the family who used to own the original structure (and thought to myself, yep, still startling in their stark expression). I knocked lightly on the door of the Hospitality Suite, and was ushered in and greeted by several familiar, smiling faces. I hunted down Meghan, the beautiful Bride, who I have known since she was about, oh, I am going to guess 12 or 13ish. I love the Kemp family so I was already incredibly excited to be there, and it was fantastic to catch up with old friends, meet new babies, and see all the beautiful details that Meghan and Cory had planned for their wedding, in a location that I was incredibly familiar with, and that struck up so much nostalgia in me.

Meghan and Cory chose a venue that had a lot of personality, mostly being all very rustic wood and stone, which suited their style so perfectly. If I had to describe it, I'd call it "country glam" - gorgeous glamourous touches her luxe purple heels, beautiful brooch bouquet (that she MADE!), and elegant layered lace dress, and country touches like her sassy cowgirl boots, the bud boutonnieres, the little personalized favor jars of apple butters, and burlap and baskets. They met on a fishing trip, and the way they represented their personalities during the wedding through details was so wonderful to see.

There were so many funny and emotional moments from this wedding that I could talk about - one of my favorites was during the "lighting" of the Unity candle, when the mother's candles just weren't doing the trick - after a few very long nervous moments, when they couldn't get the mother's candles to light the Unity candle, Cory grabbed the lighter. Success! Everyone laughed at the time, and what a great metaphor for a marriage - when things don't go as planned in life, IMPROVISE. Draw on each other's strengths and make it work. It was perfect.

Another favorite was what I like to call, The Hunt for the Great Garter, when Cory donned a headlight and dove under Meghan's dress... and came up with something completely unexpected (you would have had to been there!) Another favorite moment was the emotional Father/Daughter dance, that Meghan's brother Ryan played and sang while Meghan and her father Jim danced. It was so touching. The entire day was truly wonderful - the wedding was very family-centric, and because of that and all of their close friends who rallied around them, there was nothing but love, love, love surrounding these two the entire day.

Cory and Meghan, I was honored to be with you both on your day. xo

Wedding Date: September 7, 2013
Venue: Holiday Inn at Six Flags
Dress: Oleg Cassini
Veil: Meghan's mom's, that was once part of a hat, and freshly hand-beaded by Cory's mom
Cake: Knodel's Bakery (the red velvet was TO DIE FOR)
Flowers: Schnuck's Focus on Design
Sexy Cars: Cory - 2007 Ford Mustang GT
and Jim (Meghan's father) - 1934 Chevy Coupe

 NOTE: This is Meghan's brother, Ryan, and that beautiful bad-ass 1934 Chevy Coupe belongs to Meghan's dad, Jim. So I had to add this picture, because I have a thing for sexy cars, and because cars have been a big part of Meghan's life - not only is her dad an aficionado, but Cory has a SUPER sexy Mustang GT that you'll see later.