Under Pressure

All that talk about my schedule for October the other day (found here) - and now I've scheduled those other two Engagement sessions and Missy's Trash the Dress. And while I'm so incredibly stoked about all this work, I've also recently had conversations about family matters - soccer games, dance classes, and boy scout meetings - and the pressure is mounting.

If I was just a photographer, I wouldn't worry much about it. I am one of those passionate people who will literally bury themselves under their work. But because I already have less time with my family because the boys go to their Dad's house every other week, I always feel incredibly guilty when I have to work during the boys' time home with me. This weekend happens to be one of those weekends, and here I've got an all-day wedding and will have to miss Max's soccer game on Saturday, and Sunday I have a portrait session and a meeting.

I did plan a family day for the 17th, but really, one day out of 31 doesn't make me feel like a very good mother.

I do try to spend quality time with them during the evenings - but now I'm looking at so much mounting editing, something will have to give. Is it feasible to stop sleeping?

I am not a good juggler. I fully admit that. I am learning to be better, and learning to use all 24 hours of the day to the best of my ability, but October hasn't even started yet and I feel like I am about to launch myself past the precipice and into the yawning cavern that is EPIC MOMMY FAIL. How can I not let my clients down, while simultaneously not letting my children down, while also simultaneously not letting Jeremy down, and still making sure Chloe goes for a walk at least once a day?

Take better pictures, have less editing. That's my first goal here.

Stop sneaking my gaze to my iPhone's inbox, and make eye contact with my family members. That's goal number 2.

Continue to book weddings because I still have to book 7 to reach my goal for next year - Objective 3.

Eat, sleep, hug and laugh. That's gotta be in there too.


I hope that I don't botch my family relationships so bad that my children refuse to talk to me this winter, because really the pace then will be so much slower. I'll have a lot of free time to spend with them, and I look forward to playing board games and making snowmen and hot chocolate and family movie nights all snuggled up on the couch. All of that feels like useless placating to my heart right now though, as I flip through my planner for next month.

If someone has figured out how to perfectly handle this Working Mommy bit, please kindly fill me in. I will pay you.